


Lazarus

by SCFox



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 06:38:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3800575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SCFox/pseuds/SCFox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoilers for Dragon Age: Inquisition. Surprise reunions don't always go the way you'd like.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lazarus

**Author's Note:**

> Possible warning: Discussion of previous assault. Not described, but has an impact. Many thanks to my Beta who I don't think has an account here, but helped me out anyway!

It was early morning in  Llomerryn . The sun was just rising over the cramped, sprawling city. Most of it s residents were either passed out or hungover, the few that could just about walk in a straight line were all busy down at the docks. A large amount of the activity focused on one particular Frigate, a  well-known  ship named “Siren’s Revenge”. The crew seemed slightly less unstable and drunk  than  most of the others, and they were loading up supplies, ready for their next expedition. They were completely oblivious to the fact that they were quietly being observed from the shadows. 

A man with messy blonde hair, and stubble that suggested he hadn’t shaved for two or three days, leaned casually against the wall. He was dressed well, but his clothing was worn. He  wore  a  woolen  shirt covered by a leather jerkin, and a long dark grey coat that blew slightly in the breez e. He was clearly an experienced  gentleman -  two fine daggers were strapped to his bag, and a belt around his waist had all manner of small tools in it. He kept staring up at the Revenge, as if running through something in his mind. He listened carefully to what the men were saying to each other, and once it had been confirmed that this was the right ship, he h iked a satchel over his shoulder, and approached,  soft leather boots not making a sound.  

“ Good morning, gentlemen.”

His voice was soft but confident, and they couldn’t quite place his accent. He seemed quiet and unassuming, but there was an energy about him that suggested he might be trouble if they weren’t careful. 

The first mate, Forrest, a tall, stout middle-aged man with brown hair and a salt and pepper beard stepped forward and regarded the younger man sternly. His arms and chest were scarred,  clearly marking him as  a seasoned veteran . 

Forrest  noticed the faint scar across the newcomer’s right eye, and the more obvious one across his left hand, not to mention the tired, experienced expression he saw in the man’s eyes. Clearly this wasn’t a foolhardy young noble in search of a little adventure to change up his dull life.

“ What can we do you for lad?” Forrest had decided he didn’t mind the newcomer . 

“ I was wondering if you might tell me who captain s this ship .”

Forrest narrowed his eyes ;  he was protective of their leader, “Why?”

“ I believe she may be an old friend of mine,” he very slightly opened his satchel so only Forrest could see the glimmer of gold inside, “And may want to hear my proposition.”

Forrest’s eyes widened slightly at the glimpse of the treasure, and he saw the young man in a new light. It seemed like the crew weren’t the only ones who had a talent for finding the valuable, and the marks on his hands and daggers proved he knew how to handle himself in a fight. They were a little  shorthanded  after all. A nasty fight on the way to  Llomerryn  had cost them half a dozen good men.   
  
“ She’s in her quarters.  I’ll  accompany you.”

The man raised up his hands in a gesture of innocence, “Of course, sir. Good to know she’s got people watching her back.”

Forrest noticed a strange kind of wistfulness in the young man’s eyes for a split second, before his face returned to a completely blank canvas with no hint of what he might be thinking. He noticed with respect his current companion took in every part of the ship as they walked through it, already assessing what was where and how it worked. They stopped outside a fancy wooden door with stained glass windows, a little luxury the captain had allowed herself, and Forrest cleared his throat before knocking.

“ Admiral? There’s a young man to see you.”

“ Forrest,” came the answer from within, the woman was clearly busy inside, “You know I don’t do that anymore.”

The young man allowed himself a slight smirk at Forrest someone’s rather abashed expression. “Um, it’s not that sort of arrangement, Admiral. I think he may want to join the crew.”   
  
This provoked an interested ‘ hm ’ from inside, as the door opened, and there stood the Admiral. The young man was clearly quite struck by her, and Forrest didn’t blame him. In fact, he smiled, a little proud that his leader still had that effect on people. She was still a beauty, despite being older since the last time the younger man had seen her. Her thick black hair was longer, and her  jewellery  more intricate than gaudy. She’d also updated her outfit to suit her position, with long black boots that came up to her thigh, a long white shirt without the ties at the sides, a beautiful black corset with delicate gold embroidery, and a long blue coat not dissimilar from the young man’s, but a lot richer and brighter. 

“ Admiral,” the young man bowed politely.

Forrest frowned slightly as he saw her expression as she regarded the young man. It had initially been curious and bright, but now she squinted slightly, as if trying to place him. It was as though she recognised him, but something was troubling her about the fact. It wasn’t a negative sort of trouble, more of a disbelieving one.

“ Admiral?” repeated the young man, allowing slight concern in his voice, though his face remained neutral. He deliberately looked at Forrest with a puzzled frown .    
“ Are you quite alright, Admiral?” asked Forrest in response. 

“ Yes, thank you Forrest. Please leave us,” instructed his commanding officer.

With a shrug and a bow, and an encouraging nod at the newcomer, his disappeared. The Admiral waved him to follow her, and promptly locked the door behind them. He stood awkwardly in the threshold, glancing around at the rich decoration in the surprisingly large room. In the far corner was a large canopy bed that looked  Orlesian  in style. The curtains were mostly drawn around it, leaving only an entrance and exit big enough for the Admiral. A large wooden desk stood in the middle of the room with an ornate chair behind it, and two more plain ones facing it. There was plush  decoration everywhere, and it seemed very warm and comfortable. Clearly, the Admiral had done quite well for herself, and the young man was happy to know it.

“ You know,” began the woman, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say I’d drunk too much last night and was currently dreaming about ghosts.”

“ You and me both,” responded the young man, and the woman’s eyes widened in disbelief as his voice changed, “Although now I generally hope to never have another dream again.”

There was no mistaking it. The young man’s voice  was now that of a  young woman . The Admiral pulled away so quickly she hit her back on one of the wooden chairs with a dull thud, and winced as she realised what she was doing. Her companion couldn’t stop himself from instinctively reaching out to check she was alright. At his sudden motion, she immediately grabbed the nearest thing she could, which happened to be  her letter opener, and pointed it at him -  or  was it  her? She was a little confused. He held up his hands in surrender, stepping back again.

“ Clearly, I’m a better actor than I thought,” the newcomer mumbled with irritation at himself.

“ Who  are  you and what do you want?!” demanded the Admiral.

“ Good to see you too, Isabela.”

Isabela had no idea what was going on, as the recruit grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket, and dampened it with spittle, before wiping it over his face. Or hers, as it turned out. The stubble which had been so realistic once, now came completely away, and the Admiral stood staring and slightly terrified. She was fairly certain she was seeing an old friend, well, more than friend, who she had longed to see for a long time. But  Isabela  was also fairly certain a letter that had come  from north of  Ferelden  had informed her of her death.

“ H...Hawke?”

The woman shrugged. Without the beard and with slightly tidier hair, after running her fingers through it, Isabela was instantly transported back to Kirkwall. Those startling bright blue eyes, the  very same  that had completely confused her from the off, brought back a rush of so many old feelings, and a fair number of new ones. Unable to stop herself, she lashed out, punching Hawke hard on the chin.

“ Ow ! What the hell?!” a disgruntled Hawke responded, rubbing the sore spot. This was not going how she had hoped. But it was going how she expected.

“ Varric  told me you were dead ! I mourned you! I grieved for you so long I never thought I’d ever come out of it again! Now you waltz in here all false smiles and innocence, and didn’t even think to tell me you were still breathing?!”

“ In my  defense , I didn’t send those letters. I did try contacting you, but every time I tracked you down I’d just missed you.”

“ So you thought you’d just stalk around my home port dressed like  that , in the slim chance you might find me?”

“ Well, yeah. Pretty much. I didn’t want anyone to recognise me. They can’t hunt, or kill, a dead woman.”

The pair were at somewhat of an impasse. They were both over the moon to see one another again, but it was such a strange situation, and neither of them knew how the other would react. Eventually, Hawke decided the worst that could happen was a matching bruise on another part of her body, and walked forward. She wrapped her arms around Isabela, and kissed her so passionately the woman seemed to melt, and the letter opener clattered to the floor. Isabela, like so many times before, took control of the situation, grabbing Hawke and pushing her down on to her bed, kissing every inch she could and hugging her tightly, so she could never leave again

 

As the pair lay next to each other, Hawke kissed Isabela, and gently ran her fingers across her skin, tracing every new scar, inwardly angry she hadn’t been there to stop them. She didn’t want to think about what had left them. Isabela was in a similar situation, stroking Hawke’s cheek where the mark over her eye continued. There were lines across her arms, a particularly nasty one across the middle of her chest and some gashes on her back for good measure. She’d met Hawke when  the woman  was just over  21, young, bright and fresh, despite already having had a difficult  life, which had only worsened  over her time in Kirkwall. She’d always stayed cheerful in spite of everything, cheerful and strong. Now she just seemed tired.

“ How did you get out?” she asked, unable to quench her curiosity.

Hawke’s face went blank and she subconsciously pulled Isabela closer to her. “I fought. And ran. And survived.” she didn’t want to go into details, “Then I followed the demons out of a rift,” she paused for a moment, kissing her lover’s shoulder, “Those damn Desire demons almost got me every time.”

Isabela half wished she hadn’t asked. She’d done a lot of bad things and been in a lot of dangerous situations herself. But she’d never been left alone in the Fade, fending off demons and wraiths and insanity for however long Hawke had been stuck there. Though life hadn’t exactly been a picnic for her -  Hawke had no idea that at the very second she had arrived, she was the only person Isabela wanted to talk to.

“ What happened to you?” asked Hawke suddenly.

“ Oh, the usual,” Isabela’s heart started racing, “Piracy, pillaging, some mercenary work.”

“ You were hoping I wouldn’t notice, weren’t you?”

It was then Isabela knew she’d been found out. The fact was highlighted by Hawke gently cupping her breast, and trailing her fingers to linger on her stomach. Isabela immediately felt sick, and guilty, and quite frankly disgusted at herself. The gentle concern, in place of accusation, in Hawke’s voice, made her want to cry. She turned away, but Hawke still threaded her fingers through Isabela’s, and kissed her neck. It sent shivers down the woman’s spine, and she squeezed her hand.

“ You spoiled me, you know,” commented Isabela lightly, “After I’d been with you, I never wanted to be with anyone else.”

“ I’m flattered,” teased Hawke gently, trying to make Isabela relax more.

“ It’s true. After all those years, then I met you, and then, I just lost interest…” Isabela couldn’t quite believe it herself. Even so, she struggled to carry on.

“ You don’t have to…” Hawke offered, realising she’d touched on difficult, traumatic, episode and regretting her question.

Isabela gave a short, bitter laugh, “Before you pitched up today, I was praying to every deity out there to be able to talk to you about it. You’re still the only person in the world I completely trust.”

“ Then I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”

“ Apparently you tried,” Isabela sighed. She brought the hand she was clutching to her lips and kissed it, wrapping Hawke around her.

Hawke shifted her position slightly, so they were both sitting up. She was behind Isabela, completely enveloping her and Isabela leaned into it, as if it was a thick winter coat seeing off the ice and wind. It was what it felt like anyway. Whatever they had faced all the years ago that they met, Isabela had always been sure everything would turn out ok as long as Hawke was there. Now she was glad to have that feeling back.

“ It was...after I got  Varric’s  letter,” she admitted, the nausea welling up once more, “I didn’t know what to do, so I did what I did best. Got very drunk and very stupid. I leapt at the first person to show me any kindness, but I was so out of practice…” she swallowed, she could tell her voice was going to crack, so she lowered it, “Well, he wasn’t particularly kind after all.”

Hawke's body started fizzing with anger and she felt like she might explode. When she was younger, she probably would have done,  but now she bit her lip so hard it bled, and instead rested her chin on Isabela’s shoulder, trying to be as close to her as possible. Isabela could tell how she was feeling, and she stroked the woman’s arms in attempt to appease her.

“ It’s okay , Hawke. It was my own fault…” she looked down, “Guess I am  a  worthless slut after all.”

Hawke was startled as she felt tears dripping onto her arm. She had no idea what to do.  Isabela had never been one for such overt displays of emotion. Yes, she was affectionate when they were alone, but then they always teased each other mercilessly and both flirted back with anyone who flirted with them. They always knew they were the only ones for each other, but this was new. Hawke had never known Isabela to take such comments to heart. She had always seemed proud of them in fact. 

“ You’re wrong on both counts, Isabela,” argued Hawke, “The fault lays squarely at  his feet, not yours. Everyone has been brought up to think we're pretty decorations, property worth less than nothing, unless we get married and provide more people to demean them. How dare a woman choose to take control of her own life and her own body, instead of forever trying to please  men?  The people who said things like that to you were just jealous that they couldn’t break out of the ridiculous roles they’d been forced into.  They took out their frustration on you.” Isabela was quite amazed at how strongly Hawke seemed to feel about the issue. She was speaking fiercely, and she was normally so much more contained or sarcastic.

 “Isabela, you’re what people wish they could be, and people don’t like that and you're not worthless. You mean more to me than anything in the world, and if I ever find that bastard, I’ll make him apologise before I slit his throat.”

“ I’d cut off his dick first,” interjected  Isabela,  and  Hawke was heartened to hear her say that. 

Isabela  knew Hawke would be the person to talk to, to help her get her head sorted. She had no idea what she’d done to deserve someone like her on her side, but she was glad she did. She had always thought exactly the same as her young partner did, but she had forgotten it all after what had happened to her. She still felt ill and ashamed, but it was good to hear her speaking. To remember. She was still faced by a dilemma though. What could she do? Isabela was the captain of this ship, and others too, and the only woman. There was nobody she could go to with her problem, and if she didn’t make up her mind soon, she could be forced out in shame. She hated being vulnerable, despised it even. She was a strong woman, who took command, but even she had grown used to having the company of friends in Kirkwall, she’d felt utterly desolate to be alone. Then Hawke had waltzed back into her life.

“ I don’t know what to do, Madelyn,” Isabela admitted after a while. The fact she’d used Hawke’s first name proved just how afraid she was.

“ I don’t like to say it, but you really only have two choices. What do you want to do?”

Isabela shrugged, “I can’t very well expect all my ships to listen to and respect me when they find out. It’s not something you can hide. And I’d be in no shape to fight…” she paused, “But...I also can’t do this forever. I’m getting too old for it.”

“ You’re not  that old,” pointed out Hawke.

“I'm older than you. In this job, I’m positively antique. This could be a chance to do something different with my life.”

The Pirate Queen weighed up the options in her head. She’d been at sea, doing the same old thing, for nearly two decades. She never had a particular goal or purpose, except to get more power and more wealth. But what use would either be to her if she was dead? She’d never considered the thought of being a mother before, and she didn’t have the best of role models. It would be hard to try and start some kind of life on her own. She would never have even considered it until the Champion of Kirkwall became involved.

“ What would you do?” Isabela asked, “If one day I decided to dock somewhere, find a dark alley, and get it ‘sorted’. Would you still be here? Or would you think less of me?”

“ Of course I wouldn’t and of course I’d be here. I’d hold your hand if you wanted me to, even though that’s not usually your thing, and I’d support you, make sure you were ok and none of the men knew,” responded Hawke, in a tone that suggested she was surprised Isabela didn’t find her answer obvious.

“ And if I decided to make a go of it? Find a quiet island somewhere and settle down? Or just, try something new? Would you even want to be bothered by a stranger’s child? Could you even bear to look at me, knowing what happened?”

“ Of course, you idiot. I'm proud to know you, let alone look at you. I’m also pretty good at disappearing, so you won’t be bothered by people and I have plenty of trades to ply to take care of you both. Besides, it’s not just some stranger’s child, Isabela. It would be yours. I love you, every single bit of you,” she smiled, “And that would be a pretty big bit of you.”

Isabela was immensely relieved. For once in her life, she wasn’t completely abandoned. In fact, the woman she loved had essentially come back from the dead to stand by her. It was an odd feeling. She wasn’t used to other women not hating her, deriding her, being jealous of her, or, in her mother’s case, selling her off to be whored out to the first person who threw money in her direction. Her face went grim as she considered her upbringing, and Hawke wrapped her arms around the woman’s waist.

￼ "What if I turn out just like  _her _ , Hawke?"

“ You're a better person that. Despite what you'd like people to believe.  She’s not worth thinking about for even a second  Issy ,” Hawke deliberately brought out her pet name to cheer the woman up.

“ I know. But I can’t help it, considering my situation.”

“ You’d be far better at it than her.”

“ I wouldn’t have a clue what to do.”

“ Nobody  d oes. Any woman who notices an increase in her  breast  and belly and comes to the same conclusion thinks, ‘Oh shit, so that’s a thing.’ Then they make it up as they go along.”

“ Well I couldn’t exactly be  _ worse _ than my mother.”

“ Sounds like you’re making your mind up?”

“ Maybe. I’m only even considering because you’re here. Gods, you do this every time. You’ve made me go soft.”

“ Says the Admiral in charge of multiple ships, dozens of men, and the most feared pirate to come out of  Llomerryn .”

“ You flatter me.”

“ You’d probably deck me if I didn’t.” Hawke grinned, “Though, mentioning that...we’ve been in here a while. A nice while, don’t get me wrong, but I’m slightly alarmed your crew might think I’ve killed you.”

“ They know I’m stronger than that.”

“ Fair enough. But the question remains;  who do you want me to be to them?”

Isabela had to consider this for a while. She knew for certain she wanted Hawke with her, that much was obvious, but she wasn’t sure if she was confident enough to admit to her crew she actually did have a heart, and feelings, and they were all in one compact, if slightly battered, blonde package. It would put Hawke in danger if Isabela’s competition found out. But then, on the other hand, if she did really end up retiring, who cared where she laid her head, or whose it was next to. Besides, Hawke could handle herself.

“ Be you. They don’t necessarily have to know you’re  _ you _ you ,” she finally decided, “But I imagine life would be difficult for you if you had to pretend to be a man on this ship. They’d accuse you of getting special treatment.”

“ So, I can lose the binder?” Hawke sighed with relief, “Thank the Maker.”

“ Where did you even get that?”

Hawke shrugged, “A friend. He helped me out a lot whilst I tried to find you, his boss too, actually.”

Eventually the pair redressed themselves, trying vainly to make it look like they hadn’t been doing exactly what they’d just been doing. They glanced at each other, just imagining the crew’s reactions. Hawke grabbed her satchel, and Isabela unlocked the door. Forrest, and lots of the others, were standing outside the cabin, arguing amongst themselves whether they should break in and save the Admiral or let her deal with things herself. Their bickering stopped as they saw the woman in question and all of them, none more so than Forrest,  gaped at the mischievous looking woman who had appeared next to her. Isabela regarded everyone on the crew, and seeing them turn to her, hanging on her every word, made her come to a conclusion that completely astounded her. She looked at a very startled Forrest, and  threw a  ring  of keys at him . Even Hawke  wondered  exactly what she was doing.

“ Forrest. She’s yours,”

“ Wait...what?!” stuttered Forrest. “But, everything you’ve achieved, all the gold and treasure?!”   
“ I have everything I could ever want or need right here.”

She grabbed Hawke’s hand, and the younger woman didn’t hesitate to play along, although she still wasn’t convinced she was being serious. Every man stepped aside, creating a path for Isabela and her mystery woman, and the further towards the ramp she got, the tighter she held Hawke’s hand. Just before she stepped off the deck, she looked over her shoulder.

“ You’ve been a good crew. Thank you. I wish you all the best.”

Forrest was the only one that had grasped the situation, and  he  gave a respectful nod, “And you, Admiral.”

Hawke shrugged and smiled at them, before she was led away by Isabela, and the pair disappeared into the mess of ships and men at the docks, they were busier now. As they walked through the city, Hawke turned to the former Pirate Queen.

“ Isabela...are you sure?”

“ For once. Yes,” Isabela smiled, “It’s not like we both haven’t made something from nothing before,” she stopped and turned to  her Madelyn, and kissed the woman intensely, “At least this  time I’ve got a little  more than nothing.”


End file.
